


Are You Satisfied?

by IWillMakeMyOwnFate (Violet_Knight)



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 15:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_Knight/pseuds/IWillMakeMyOwnFate
Summary: Loss comes easily to someone like Camilla. War certainly helps with that. However, very few people knew about her most devastating loss. One that shook Camilla to her core. One that changed the way she saw the world. One that she is finally ready to tell.





	Are You Satisfied?

This isn’t a happy story. I need to warn you about that. But you expected that, right? You crave knowledge. I know that. But that knowledge isn’t always what you want to hear. Do you still want to know?

…

Alright. Take a seat, my dear. Let me tell you a story of love and loss. A story of new hope. A story about me.

***

“Cami, look!”

I turned at the sound of my name. Suddenly, a colourful circle filled my vision. Behind it, a smiling face framed by purple hair peeked through. 

“It’s beautiful, Claire.” Delicate pink and yellow flowers interlocked together into a ring. I couldn’t help but smile at the intricacy of it. How had she become so skilled at that? It seemed like just yesterday she was struggling to simply pick the perfect flowers.

Claire excitedly motioned for me to bend down, and I complied, kneeling down in the field of flowers. A light weight placed itself upon my head. When I straightened up, Claire’s happy face once again filled my view. 

“Now you’re a pretty princess!” she exclaimed while flinging her hands into the air.

“I thought you were the pretty princess,” I countered, and laughed when Claire’s nose wrinkled up.

“Nope! I’m the queen!” She straightened her back, flung her nose into the air, and placed her hands on her hips. 

I had to hold back a chuckle. “Of course. How could I forget?”

I watched as Claire continued to pick more flowers. She kept picking until she had a handful of flowers; each one was a different colour.

“When’s mommy coming back?” Claire said as she weaved the flowers together.

The words, “I hope she never does,” almost left my mouth, but I held them back. Claire didn’t know what our mother had done. How she had used us for her own personal gain. How she had abandoned us the moment we no longer benefitted her. 

Instead of speaking those thoughts, I absently said, “Maybe someday.”

I was so focused on my thoughts that I almost jumped when I heard a cough from behind me. When I turned, I found an imposing woman clad in steel armor.

“It’s time for your lesson, m’lady,” she said with a curt bow.

I sighed. “Of course, Lynette.” I turned back to Claire. An adorable pout rested on her face. “Don’t worry, Claire. We can play again later.” The pout remained. 

All of a sudden, Lynette bent down to Claire’s level. “Would you like to join us?”

Wide violet eyes stared at Lynette. “Can I?” 

Lynette smiled at Claire, “Of course you can.” She stood up and reached a hand down to Claire, who happily took it. Once everyone was on their feet we headed through the forest and back into the city. 

“Of course you two would find the only flower field in Nohr.” Lynette absently commented as we walked through the crowds. 

I shrugged, “Maybe everyone else wasn’t looking hard enough.”

Lynette shook her head and chuckled, “Maybe so.”

Finally, we made it to the castle. Once we were past the gate and in the courtyard, Lynette halted. In one swift motion, she removed the axes from her back and held them handle-first towards Claire and me. I took mine with ease; however, as soon as Lynette let go of Claire’s, Claire fell forward with a squeak.

Both Lynette and I let out laughs. “Need a little help?” Lynette smiled at Claire.

“I can do it!” Claire huffed and puffed as she attempted to lift the axe in vain. It barely budged. Claire desperately looked to me. “Can you help me, please?” 

“How about we get you a different one?” I turned to Lynette, who unstrapped a ornate hatchet from her belt. This time when Claire took it, she didn’t fall over. 

“Try swinging it,” Lynette backed up at the statement, and I followed suit. 

I’m glad I did since Claire immediately started swinging wildly. “This is fun!” She laughed giddily.

“Do you want me to teach you some techniques?” Lynette asked.

Claire instantly stopped swinging. “Yes!” She shouted excitedly.

As Lynette taught Claire some simple techniques, I practiced my own moves on a nearby training dummy. I knew Lynette would take care of Claire. She’s the only other one I trusted with such a task, besides Xander. 

After a while, I glanced back over to the duo. At that moment, Claire swung with all her might and buried the hatchet into the torso of a training dummy. Lynette and I both let out cheers.

Someone clapped from behind me. When I turned, all my cheer died. 

Garon.

He smiled, but it was almost sinister. “Well done, Claire.” He congratulated my sister. 

Said girl bounced up and down. The biggest smile was spread across her face. 

Beside her, Lynette had returned to her usual stoic demeanour. We exchanged looks.

“Father, what are you doing here?” 

Garon turned his piercing eyes on me. I wished I hadn’t said anything. “Can’t I watch my favourite child take her first steps to becoming a warrior?”

There was a challenge there. I refused to take the bait. 

“I think that’s enough for today,” Lynette took the hatchet back from Claire despite her protests. I didn’t hesitate to give mine back. 

“That’s too bad,” Garon pretended to be disappointed for a moment, but it was short lived. “Lynette, I’d like to speak with you.”

“Of course, your Majesty.”

And then, Claire and I were left alone.

\---

“Cami?”

I blearily blinked; the last wisps of sleep drifted away. I turned over onto my side and spotted wide violet eyes staring back at me. Claire hovered beside my bed; her hands fiddled with the small blanket she held.

“What is it, Claire?” I asked around a yawn. 

“I’m scared.” She squeaked out. 

“Now why would a brave girl like you be scared?”

“Monsters.”

“Monsters? Are they under your bed?” Claire nodded, and I had to hold back a chuckle. What an overactive imagination she had. Even still… “I’m sure there’s nothing there, but do you want me to check?” No harm in doing that. 

Once in Claire’s room, I tucked her back into bed, and then bent down beside the bed. I flipped up the bed skirt and did a quick scan. Only a couple toys were spotlighted, everything else was shrouded in darkness. 

“See? Nothing there.” I pushed myself up using the bed. I gave my sister a smile. “Don’t worry, Claire. Your big sister will always protect you.”

Back in my room, I practically collapsed into bed. Although my body ached from today’s training session, my mind refused to drift off to sleep. There was something about the shadows under Claire’s bed. Was it the fact that the shadows formed a shape? Or was it that something in them reflected the light?

All of a sudden, my blood ran cold. 

No, it couldn’t be. 

Suddenly, a scream shattered the silence.

In an instant, I was out of bed, and running down the hall. 

Outside of her bedroom stood a cloaked figure. In its arms was Claire.

Sudden rage filled me. “Let her go!” I yelled.

The figure shook its head as it backed up. 

“Cami!” Claire shouted fearfully. Her violet eyes were the size of dinner plates.

I lunged.

But it too late.

A flash of light blinded me. When it faded, I was alone. Only a note remained where they had stood.

I quickly picked it up; my eyes scanned the words:

Garon  
We have your precious daughter.  
If you want her back, come to Demon’s Falls  
by sundown tomorrow.  
Come alone.  
If you do not, we kill the girl.

\---

“I’m coming with you.”

There was no chance that I was being left behind. Not when Claire was in danger. 

“No,” Xander didn’t even pause as he sharpened his blade.

Although it was meant to halt the ensuing argument, I persisted. “She’s my sister!” My vision blurred ever so slightly but I blinked it away. There was no time for that. 

Xander finally stopped what he was doing. His brow furrowed as he stared at me. “That’s why you can’t come,” he spoke softly, “You read the note. This isn’t just any rebel group.”

“I can handle them!” 

“You can’t,” Xander said firmly as he gaze coolly at me, “You’re not ready.” Something in his eyes softened. “These people are dangerous, Camilla. Possibly the most dangerous rebel group in Nohr. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But…”

“Camilla,” Xander put down his blade, “we’re going to get her back. I’ll make sure of it.”

Tears rose to my eyes once again. “Promise me you will,” my voice trembled as I spoke.

“I promise.”

\---

As the sun rose and set, I paced the courtyard. Nothing outside of my thoughts held my attention for long. Everything led back to thoughts of her after all. Thoughts of what I should have done. Thoughts of how terrified she must be. Thoughts of how powerless I am to help her.

A frustrated sigh escaped my lips. If only, Xander had let me go along. I could have helped. I’ve been training my entire life. Even still, it wasn’t enough. 

All the training in the world couldn’t help me now.

“There they are!”

The sudden shout derailed my thoughts. In a flash, I was standing by the gate. I shifted from foot to foot as one of the many people huddled around the gate raised it. 

The first soldier to come through the opening was the guard captain. Her head hung low as she marched. 

“Lynette!” I shouted as I pushed through the crowd towards her.

Lynette gave me a pained look. “I’m so sorry, Camilla,” was all she said.

I tilted my head as the rest of the soldiers streamed by us. “What do you mean?”

Before she could say anything more, I spotted him.

Finally, Xander had appeared amongst the soldiers.

Something was cradled in his arms. 

“No…”

Everyone bowed their heads as he rode by.

“Gods, no.”

Red streaked purple hair peeked through.

“No!”

I fell to my knees as my wails filled the courtyard. Xander knelt before me, and gently placed Claire on the ground. In an instant, I scooped her up in my arms. 

“Claire?” I gently brushed the tangled hair away from her face. “Claire, please wake up,” My voice cracked at the end. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real.

A hand placed itself on my shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Camilla,” Xander spoke so softly I barely heard him.

With those simple words, I remembered who had caused this. Sudden rage seeped into every part of me. How dare they? How dare they take such an innocent and pure life from this world. What gave them the right?

I looked up at my brother. “Tell me you killed them,” cold anger filled my trembling voice, “the ones who did this.”

“We did.”

“Good,” my gaze fell back down to violet eyes that would never open again. Countless emotions whirled through my mind. Anger. Sadness. Guilt.

“This is my fault,” I whispered, “If I hadn’t left her alone…”

“You couldn’t have known,” Xander said, but I couldn’t hear him.

“It’s my fault,” I continued to whisper over and over again.

I didn’t protect her.

I couldn’t do anything when she needed me most.

I’m so sorry, Claire.

I’m so sorry.

\---

For days I just sat in her room. In my hands, I gripped her favourite blanket. Tears stained its fabric. Every time I tried to wipe them away, more kept coming. 

A knock at the door startled me from my thoughts.

Lynette stood in the doorway. For once, she wore a tunic and plain pants. There was no weapon in sight.

“I just came to say goodbye,” Lynette spoke in an unusually quiet voice.

Those words immediately snapped me out of my sorrow. “What? Why?”

“I am no longer welcome here after my failure.”

I knew instantly who was responsible. “He can’t do that! You’re the best guard we have!” 

Lynette gave me a pained look. “I wasn’t good enough.”

We fell silent. My thoughts swirled around my head. Lynette couldn’t leave. She was one of the few people I had left. One of the few people who knew Claire as well as I did. One of the few people I called family. 

“Please,” I whispered, “Don’t leave me.” Tears clouded my vision once again.

In an instant, Lynette was across the room and kneeling in front of me. Her hand cupped my cheek, and her thumb gently wiped the tears away. 

“I will always be with you, my dear,” she murmured.

For the first time ever, I thought I saw tears rise to Lynette’s eyes, but she turned away before I could be sure.

“You two were like the children I never had,” she whispered so quietly I barely caught the words. 

Lynette rose back to her feet. Before she could go, I quickly got up and wrapped her in a hug. 

“Thank you, Lynette. For everything.”

And then she was gone. 

And I was alone once again.

\---

“This is your new little sister.”

I stared blankly at the child before me. Familiar purple hair framed her face, but it wasn’t quite the right shade. To add to that, crimson eyes stared back at me instead of violet ones.

My gaze found my father’s. Did he really think this little girl could replace my sister?

A proud grin graced his features.

He did.

A pit formed in my stomach at that, so I decided to refocus my gaze on the girl. Where did he even get this child? I had never seen her around the castle before, and Garon hadn’t had a new concubine for a while.

I must have been making faces as I thought because the little girl cowered further behind Garon. 

Without thinking, I bent down to her level. “It’s okay, dear.” I put on the friendliest face I could muster. “I’m Camilla. What’s your name?”

The little girl peeked around Garon’s leg. She peered at me with terrified yet curious eyes. “Corrin,” she finally said in a small voice. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Corrin.” I spoke the next part without a second thought, “If you ever need anything, you can come to me.”

My mind halted. What was I saying? I had just met the girl for gods’ sake.

She just reminded me so much of her.

My vision began to blur. Before either Garon or Corrin could see my tears, I got up abruptly and turned away.

“I need to go,” was all I said before running away.

I didn’t stop until I was out of the castle and into the surrounding city. Even then, I still quickly weaved through the crowd until I reached an area surrounded by a wrought iron fence.

A guard stood at the gate, and at the sight of me, he swiftly opened the gate. I walked by without a word, and continued on until I reached a simple headstone. A name was etched into the stone in cursive writing:

Claire Nohr

I practically collapsed in front of it. My finger gently traced a path along her name as I finally let the tears fall.

I don’t know how long I sat there. All I know is that the tears never stopped. The sadness never stopped. The guilt never stopped.

“Camilla?”

I turned at the sound of my name to find a little girl with hair the colour of the ocean. Concerned amber eyes gazed at me. I looked away in a vain attempt to hide my tears.

“Hello, Azura,” my voice trembled as I spoke, “What are you doing here?”

Azura pointed to grave off to the side. “Visiting mommy.”

That’s right. Arete had passed away a couple moons before Claire was killed. However, no matter how much Camilla tried, she couldn’t remember what had caused Arete’s death. 

“She’s your sister, right?” Azura pointed her finger at Claire’s grave.

I nodded as I returned my gaze to the headstone.

“She was a good person.”

I almost wondered how Azura knew that until I remembered that Claire and Azura used to play together when Azura first arrived. That was before my siblings and I were told not to talk to Azura. I always wondered why, but I never spoke those thoughts out loud. 

Maybe I should have. For Claire’s sake. Whenever I saw them playing together, she always had the biggest smile on her face. I should have done something. I should have…

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes as I buried my face in my knees. A stray sob escaped me. 

How could I let this happen to her? I failed her.

A hand delicately placed itself upon my shoulder. “It’s alright,” Azura said gently, “I told mommy to look after her.”

At that, my gaze snapped to Azura. “You did?” I asked incredulously.

Azura nodded with a small smile. 

I couldn’t believe it. Why would someone who barely knew Claire care so much for her and why was she being so kind to me of all people? What did I do to deserve that?

Instead of voicing my thoughts, however, all I said was, “Thank you, Azura.” And for the first time in a while I smiled.

\---

I practically skipped down the dimly lit hall of the castle. A smile graced my features as I stopped at a certain door. In my hand I held a leather bound book. I had found it in the library, and I just couldn’t wait until morning to show Azura. 

I quietly opened the door and slipped into her room. “Azura,” I whispered as I closed the door behind me and turned towards her bed, “you’re never going to believe what I fou-“

A scream caught in my throat as I looked at the scene before me.

Blankets were torn from the bed as if someone had grabbed them in a desperate attempt to stay put. As I approached the scene, I found small flecks of red covering said sheets. 

“No!” This time I did wail, “This can’t be happening again!” I fell to my knees as my vision blurred.

“Camilla!” I heard Xander yell as he barrelled into the room. “What’s wr-“ He came to an abrupt halt. “Gods…Guards!

“Find her.”

“What?” Xander placed his hand on my trembling shoulder.

“Find her!” My voice cracked as I screamed the words. Tears streamed freely down my cheeks. “Please,” The last part was barely a whisper.

I remained where I was as Xander quickly left the room. My thoughts swirled around my mind.

A smiling face. An unmoving body. A kind word. An empty bed.

I couldn’t protect them. What a useless person I was. I didn’t deserve to be here. I should have been the one they took. Not her. 

My hands gripped the blankets tighter. What was the point in going on if everything I loved kept getting ripped away from me?

What was the point?

I didn’t know.

“Camilla?”

I jolted at the sudden sound. When I turned I found a little girl standing in the doorway. Terrified crimson eyes met mine. 

“Corrin?” The words, “Go back to bed,” were immediately on the tip of my tongue, but they refused to be spoken. Instead I said, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared,” she whispered the words so quietly I barely caught them. 

Pain shot through my heart. A memory I had replayed over and over suddenly flashed through my mind once again. Those words were so familiar. I had hoped for moons that I would hear them again. Hoped that I would be able to correct that mistake.

But I couldn’t. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t go back and change what happened. I had to live with the mistake I made. 

I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to forgive myself for what happened; however, that didn’t mean I had to make the same mistake again.

In an instant, I was on my feet and by Corrin’s side. I knelt in front of her and gently took her hands in mine. Finally, I spoke the words I wished I had said all those moons ago.

“Would you like to stay with me tonight?”

Maybe this was a second chance for me. 

Maybe it wasn’t. 

Maybe helping this girl would make me feel better. 

Maybe it wouldn’t. 

Maybe the same thing would happen again. 

Maybe it won’t. 

All I knew is that I wanted to give this girl the life I wanted Claire to have. 

The one I never had.

And maybe, that’s all that mattered. 

***

And there you have it. The story you wanted to hear. The only tale I have never told you. Don’t cry, my dear. She wouldn’t have wanted that.

You really helped me. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t believe I would’ve been here today. 

Let me ask you now though.

Are you satisfied?

…

You want to see her? I supposed I could take you there. It was about time I visited her again. Come along, let’s go before it gets too dark.

\---

Epilogue

\---

Moonlight shone down from above and illuminated a woman with hair the colour of lavender. In her hands she held a bouquets of multicoloured flowers. Beside her walked a younger woman with violet hair. The older woman paid no mind to the ornate headstones they passed along the way for they were not why they were here.

Finally, she halted at a more simple headstone. The woman rested one hand on the cold stone, and smiled as she gazed at it. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The woman’s voice filled the night air. “Fighting a war does take up a lot of time,” she chuckled to herself. “We did it though. We’re at peace now.” Her smile wavered slightly, “I wish you could be here to see it.”

The woman fell silent for a moment as she stared at the now decorated grave. 

“This is Corrin,” the older woman motioned to her companion, who waved at the headstone. 

“I brought you these,” she held up the bouquet. One by one she placed the flowers on the grave.

There was a red one. “This one is from the Hoshido family. They’re a really kind family. I’m sure you would have liked them.”

A purple one. “Xander, Leo, and Elise picked out this one. It reminded them of you.”

An orange one. “This one is from Lynette. She wanted to give you one that was as bright as you were.”

A blue one. “Azura said this was the type of flower you used to make flower crowns for her with.”

As she placed the last one, the woman once again motioned to her companion. Said girl walked forward and placed a pure white flower among the rest of the flowers. 

“You won’t be forgotten,” was all she said.

“All that was left in the other woman’s hands was what was holding the bouquet together: a simple pink and yellow flower crown. 

“Can you give me a moment, please?”

As the younger woman walked away, the other one placed the flower crown on top of the headstone.

“There,” she smiled at the grave, “Now you’re a pretty princess, I mean, queen.”

Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, but she brushed them away. 

“You’ll always be my little queen,” her whisper was nearly lost to the breeze. “I wish things had turned out differently, but I’m glad I was at least able to call you my little sister.”

The woman stayed for a few moments longer before turning and, with one last smile, she walked away.

To the side of the headstone, the air shimmered ever so slightly, and revealed the faint form of a little girl with hair the colour of lavender. A small pink and yellow flower crown rested atop her head. She smiled at the retreating woman. 

“Goodbye, Cami,” she called out as she, at last, faded away.


End file.
